A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?” She responds by yelling, at the top of her … Read more
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered the grave news: “There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’ll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.” Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman’s lined … Read more
The only cow in a small town in Northern Italy stopped giving milk. After some research, the town folk found they could buy a cow in Sicily relatively cheaply. So, they brought the cow over from Sicily. It was wonderful. It produced lots of milk every day, and everyone was happy. They decided to buy … Read more
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying: “Jesus is watching you.” He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and froze. … Read more
Little Johnny farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out. He goes and sits outside the class and can’t stop laughing. The principal walks by and sees him. He asks, “Little Johnny, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?” “I farted in class and the teacher threw me … Read more
A blonde decides she wants to go ice fishing. So she goes to the library and reads and researches ice fishing. Then she goes to the sporting goods store and buys everything she needs. Then she finally thinks she is ready so she goes out to the ice and starts drilling a hole. Suddenly she … Read more
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. “I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.” He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?” “No, she can order for herself.” And that’s when the fight started…..
At Friday night services, Morris goes to his friend Irving and says,”I need a favor…” “I need a favor, I’m sleeping with the Rabbi’s wife. Can you hold him in synagogue for an hour after services for me?” Irving is not very fond of the idea but being Morris’ life-longfriend, he reluctantly agrees. After services, … Read more
