Keanu Reeves Refuses to Present Whoopi Goldberg’s Lifetime Achievement Award: “She’s Not a Good Person”

Keanu Reeves is one of the nicest, most genuine people in Hollywood. Whoopi Goldberg, on the other hand, was recently voted “most hated person” in Tinsel Town, a distinction nobody seems to be able to refute.

Reeves was chosen to present this year’s Lifetime Achievement award by the TV Production Committee, a role he was honored to take on…until he heard that he’d have to share the stage and present the award to Whoopi Goldberg.

“She’s not a nice person,” said Reeves in a voice that almost sounded like he was addressing Rufus outside the Circle K, “I don’t want to be remembered as the guy who made that mistake.”

Justin Timberlake, Wynona Ryder, and Gloria Estefan also declined. They’re still waiting to hear back from Jackie and Kelso, who desperately need something different to happen in their lives, but nobody seems to be able to find them.

“We believe those two are probably in a ravine somewhere after losing their social media following to the worst apology video ever recorded,” said Ravine Captain Joe Barron of the 136th Marine Paralegal Unit, “We’re just gonna start here in LA and go from ravine to ravine until we find them.”

Others believe that they may also be in a shallower thing, such as a ditch or even a puddle, but everyone agrees they are likely dead from embarrassment, joining their careers. Topher Grace was unavailable for comment, once again leaving his dignity intact.

Reeves said there’s no way he’ll change his mind, no matter how dumb the story gets. God Bless America.

Related Posts

JUST IN..President Trump unloads on CBS after transcript release of Kamala Harris interview.

 

BREAKING NEWS.. President Trump unloads on CBS after transcript release of Kamala Harris interview.

BREAKING..One of 50th US State could become its own independent country

BREAKING..One of 50th US State could become its own independent country

California is potentially a step closer to becoming its own independent country. A new ballot initiative by Marcus Evans of Fresno is asking voters whether the state should become…

2/2 ‘The Five’ Co-Host Jessica Tarlov Facing Ripped For ‘Deranged’ Comments

Jennifer Lopez..

Jennifer Lopez..

From the way they looked at each other to the smiles they shared, it was clear that this wasn’t just a friendly encounter. Fans and paparazzi alike…

First lady Melania Trump’s new official portrait revealed

First lady Melania Trump’s new official portrait revealed

Melania Trump is seen posing with her hands on a table in the black and white snap. Strike a pose. That’s exactly what first lady Melania Trump is doing…